Mysteries

For LL

It's one of life's mysteries, at least it is to me. The predilection and appetite of people to want.. They have seemed bent on satiating what they crave. Many admit they really can't help having the need to fulfill what they want. Now it could be wealth, or food and drink, but what I am talking about is sex.

In my time, and in my time as a photographer, and indeed during my numerous travels around the world, I have encountered it many times. An appetite, a craving and a need - desired and seeking fulfillment, from so many women. It isn't of course restricted to women, but being a man who has observed and been 'involved', I speak from a man's viewpoint. 

There were few who didn't offer themselves. From young women who wanted to experience an older man (experience), bored and ignored wives, divorcees and widows. All of them thrust their femininity and their bodies in my direction. Having been with so many women, the signals are quite obvious. Innocent enough to start with, even shy in some cases. The latter feeling 'liberated', or so they told me, after shedding their clothes in front of me - a virtual stranger. My face held to the camera and conversation help.

Then there are the full on type, who know what they want are to some extent naturals and strike poses they know will show them off to their best. The vast majority though were in between the shy and full on. Confident enough for the photography. Finally, there were my 'personal' partners in.....pleasures of the flesh.

A thought occurs to me here. I imagine you thought I was frequenting dating sites because that is how I met you. I wasn't...sorry to disappoint. I had no need as you now know.

When the ladies, my clients, posed for their personal photos, I took just as many fully clothed, fashion, swimwear, lingerie etc., they were in various states of undress according to what we had planned for that part of a shoot. These could take all morning, or all day, depending on what was required. Consequently, there was close contact, non physical, both before, on the initial consultation, and during the shoot. A rapport was established so things were fairly relaxed. Important if you want to get the best photos

It was when they were in the states of undress, and toward the end of a shoot, that they often came on to me...often being the operative word. The ease with which women moved from photography to sex, at the beginning, surprised me. Then, after a few encounters, I thought - what the hell, why not. They want to, and so do I. 

In a studio setting there was often a couch, chairs or a futon style affair used as props, along with the usual stuff - backdrops, lighting etc. Those couches etc were very useful! On location, outdoors or at a client's home things took place ad hoc.

Women were often topless, and those who wanted full nude shots were of course...naked. banter flowed at some of these shoots, others were a little more serious but their desires were the same. The frequency with which I was helped in removing my clothes, or even only partially was....often...matched by the frequency with which women removed their clothes, or  just their panties, if three quarters of the way there.

So LL. the number of bodies , boobs, asses I have encountered and fondled etc are legion. Small boobs, large ones (like yours!), firm and pert ones (unlike yours), enhanced ones (guess where) and nipples to suck. I have seen and held them all. Black, Asian, White from counries far and wide...in line with my travels. One thing they all had in common was a readiness to lie back, bend over, or sit upon me legs wide apart. 

It no longer surprised me why women wanted sex with me. I use to think, why me. It seems they wanted, needed and the situations we were in were sort of made to measure.

All this time, I often wondered what you were thinking about where I was and what I was doing. As you said once, I don't allow the grass to grow beneath my feet. I had/have the wealth to do as I please and that is what I did back then. Some might say 'rebound'. I prefer to think 'launch pad'. I admit I played up a bit by letting you think I was devastated by your, as you thought, leaving. In fact I believe I unconsciously engineered it back in 2005, by not 'being there'.

I wasn't neglecting you. I was in fact furious about your playing around with other men. You had had at least one chance after what you told me in March 2004 in your drunken stupor. I decided to forgive you that instance, but when I found out that you had repeated things....that was it. Funny how you can love someone, but not want to be with them, isn't it. that was the case with you.

I remember you saying 'it's all water under the bridge', when we were mailing each other after the event. Fact is you didn't want to think about what you did, so you used that phrase to close your mind.

Where are you now? Stuck is where you are...in the rut you never wanted to be in. Spanish holidays and little else apart from the smae routine week in week out. Off north on a Friday, back after the weekend...plus a few pounds in weight!

There really is no comparison with my life is there, and to think you might once have shared it........

Finally a mantra someone once told me. It works

A poke a stroke is all it takes~a lick so thick creates the ache....

So for me it's off to Paris soon with friends, then the UK, back to Massachusetts and New Hampshire then the West Coast../some business, but mostly our own time. back then to Florida before our annual trip to Oz via Hawaii (Oahu and Kauai) at the end of the year.  

I guess your plans are not quite as exotic....

Ciao bella

Photographs in this blog have been edited to preserve anonymity. All photos are copyright. ©